I believe that the foundation of how we live our lives is exclusively driven by the choices that we make. There are many situations that require our active participation in the outcome, with us sometimes putting very little conscious thought into that outcome. Freud believed that it is our impulses and unconscious that drives our behavior, I believe he is correct. What he didn’t suggest is that we can consciously participate in the process.

The issues that we face in the new millennium can be overwhelming. There is tremendous job stress, relationships are seen differently, financial pressures are greater, and we are constantly in a state of needing to adjust to our ever-changing surroundings and attempt to make sense of them. This can be both exciting and frightening, and can sometimes lead to feelings of stress, anxiety, panic, sleeplessness, or mild to severe depression.

One of the biggest struggles people experience today is body image and weight. We see people on TV and in magazines that we consider “lucky” “gifted”, or the person we want to look like. What we are not seeing is the huge portion of time that these individuals spend making choices that result in them having the body they want. From the minute a person gets up they are making choices and conscious decisions on how they will spend their day and the calories and amount of exercise they will consume for that day. When you decide to grab a donut instead of making a protein omelet that is a choice. I don’t have time you say? The choices that you may have made the previous evening about sitting and watching TV instead of going to the grocery store to purchase items you need to make that omelet was “the choice” that may have hampered your success. Staying up late or hitting the snooze alarm 3 times so that you didn’t get up in time to make a good breakfast or head to the gym was “the choice”.

I believe that often we presume that we are powerless over the forces that drive the events going on in our lives. There are events that happen around us that we have absolutely no control over, as a result, we sometimes feel helpless or hopeless. Every event that we participate in has the possibility of turning out in a more positive way based on the choices that we make that drive our participation. We only have control over our own behavior. We make a choice to respond to situations that occur in our lives, both good and bad, by choosing how to react to that situation. I believe that although we may have an impulse to behave in a certain manner, or a thought, we still have to consciously choose to put that behavior into action. This dramatically impacts the types of relationships that surround you. Our parents behaved in particular ways that we either enjoyed or responded to in a positive manner. Those behaviors we did not like were responded to negatively. Keep in mind that these are internal responses. How that response translated into behavior was “the choice” that we made. Even as children we make choices once we are capable of rational thought.

We observed our parents behavior and most likely used that as the model for how we in turn would respond to similar situations. The morals (what is right and wrong) that went along with that behavior also color how we choose to maintain our responses to those situations. If we were never told that it was socially inappropriate to be verbally abusive to a grocery store cashier, and there was never a consequence for that behavior, how would we know it was wrong? If we observed people we respected behaving that way, of course, we would consider it acceptable. We love and trust these individuals, why would they steer us in the wrong direction? As we get older and the influence of teachers, our friend’s, their parents, law officials, and almost everyone else we come in contact with, we realize that there are alternatives to the reactions and behaviors are parents modeled. Some of them better, some of them worse. I believe that together we can make conscious choices that lead to behaviors, which will help you, to live a happier and more productive life.